I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is a voicemail?
I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist.
One way to find out is to leave a message, and if its reality, I will call you back.
I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow.
Special Subject Line Crappy openers like ‘Hi there’ or ‘Hi Gorgeous’ are clichéd and most likely to get yawned over and forgotten quickly.