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“I just talk like a regular human being.” The insomniac and exercise addict admits to being an obsessive cleaner who hates clutter, revealed by photos of her vast minimalist apartment.

She even has rappelled with a harness to clean skylights.

She recalls her horror when her mother brought her lederhosen from Switzerland: “You me to be stoned to death at school? Alexis briskly shoots down her mother’s mythmaking, including a report that she collected linen and lace as a child.

But she does share her mother’s advice to marry a rich older man for security and then have the child of a handsome young lover. The 45-year-old denounces the domestic frou-frou championed by her mother (giving chutney as a gift is “ridiculous,” she writes; potpourri “made me sick”; and “I hate holiday food”).

Having a baby wasn't always a priority for Stewart, and now that she's ready to be a mom, she tells Winfrey it's almost too late.